Good Grief? - Faith Sisters Scrapbooking Gallery

Credits: Love Birds - March 2011 Artisan Guild kit (Dee Bee Designs and Stacey Jewell Stahl)
Journal:
Have you ever noticed that during times of extreme anything, whether it be stress, grief, sadness, joy, etc, those are the times when you feel closest to God? It's true for me anyway, and I've found that despite feeling like a freak of nature for most of my life ... I'm more like everyone else than I ever imagined. Grief has been a constant companion for over five years now. My mother's illness and subsequent death was like the roller coaster car clicking slowly up the tracks ... click, click, click ... with her death, the car crested that first huge hill and the downward spiral began. Three years prior to her death, I was diagnosed with a life-changing illness myself. It doesn't impact me nearly as much as my new companion - Grief. I don't want to sound like I walk around like Eeyore from Pooh ... constantly down and blue. I've had so many joys and blessings, not the least of which is a more intensely personal relationship with God. I guess it's just that, now, I realize that there is a thread of sadness that appeared initially with Mama. Yesterday, we had to put a cat down (to sleep, as they say). Grief once again enveloped me. It's almost normal to have tears spring to my eyes. I used to fight them ... now I just let them flow. Mama used to make fun of me about the ease at which I cried ... I heard that I had my "bladder behind my eyes" many times over my life. Eventually, I came to believe my sensitivity was a flaw, and I learned to cover it up. Self-protection leads to negative things, though. The illusion fools others, sometimes me, but it doesn't fool God. It's not how He made me, and I'm certain it's offensive to Him. I think Mama, with the experiences of the final years of her life, would cry right along with me today if she were here ... I smile at the mere thought of it. Anyway, I had the strangest thought occur to me today as I pondered these things. You see, I have Grief waiting in the wings for yet another impending event. My dog is going to be re-homed very soon. He is laying at my feet in my office as I work today, and I was thinking about how much I was going to miss him. Grief entered the room, and I immediately thought about God. His voice whispered to my heart ... Grief ... the intense emotion I share with you so that you will understand what I feel when I see the lost. Really? Then I remembered my New Year's resolution ... to see others the way God see's them ... with His Filter and His Heart. Grief ... I'll miss my cat, Davidson, and I'll miss my dog Tanner ... and as I type that, the tears spring, the emotion is intense. The next time I see a lost soul ... I'll remember God's heart ... I'm thankful that He answers prayer and shares His heart ... but, I must admit that His use of Grief was unexpected. My God is an Awesome God!